My abs hurt. Really really hurt. My shoulders also hurt. I went to a belly dancing class last Wednesday and up to now, my abs and my whole body still hurt. Man! I didn't know belly dancing is that hard to learn. You have to have the energy and the concentration to move just that particular part of your body. Still, I actually enjoyed the class. I guess it woke up other parts of my body as they really hurt. The pain feels like the pain I got the first time I started the gym. Oh well! I look forward to next Wednesday. :)
Belly Dancing
I give up!
We have made up. Well, sort of. I called him up and after some bitching from me, we made up. It's not my style to make the first move especially if it's not my fault. From my point of view, it is not my fault that I got upset with him. But I have been getting less sleep because of it and I decided if I have to swallow my pride just so I can sleep well then I just have to do it. So I called, argued with him and can't really win the fight. I think I was just arguing the whole time with myself. I was talking to a drunk person!! Oh well, I let off my steam and I felt a little bit fine. He said he would call me the next day but didn't really call. I really give up now. I am not
expecting anything from him anymore. If he wants space, then he can have all the space. I am not calling him ever unless he asks me to. Enough is enough. Right now, I am trying to forget that I have a boyfriend. I love him but he's not the end-and-all of my life. I'll have him at the back of my head in the next few days. I do have another life here besides thinking of him always.
It's summer and it's camping time. We'll have our annual summer camping this weekend. Yohooo! Am sooo excited! I can't wait. Last year, I wasn't able to drink as I was pregnant at that time. Now I intend to get drunk. Might as well especially that I am upset about the status of my lovelife. Camping goal: get drunk and forget Darwin for a night.
July 30 - my niece's bday. Happy birthday Fionna! She's 2 now. Oh how I miss her. :(
Foolish Pride
I am not the jealous type. Never have been. Until now. Perhaps this goes with age. Or maybe because I haven't really been my old confident self lately.
I went into my boyfriend's emailbox this morning. I know this is bad but I really have my boyfriend's permission to do this. He's got lots of spam that I need to delete. Anyway, I went in and discovered an email from a girl that has been opened. I opened it (of course!) and there was a picture of the girl. She's not pretty (I am telling the truth!) but I am pissed.
First, why is the email still there? If he had the time to open and read it, he should have the time to delete it so I wouldn't be able to read it. My! Talk about being discreet!! He knows I open his email so he knows I would get to read it. So maybe he wants me to read it. For what?!? So I would feel what I'm feeling now?? Whining and feeling jealous?? 'tang ina. I hate this. If he's in front of me I would torture him for doing this. Hmmm. Sweet torture. :)
If only we are not on cold war right now, I would call and confront him on this. But we're not on speaking terms. Well that's just actually according to me. I could call him but I want him to call me. My foolish pride.
So I would go out tonight and have a drink. I need to get drunk and forget about this for awhile.
BTW, today is my ex-boyfriend's birthday. I greeted him a happy birthday for old time's sake. I always feel sad when I think of him. Sad that I couldn't give back the same feelings he has for me. Sad that I hurt him. I really hope he would find the right one for him one day.
