Being in the other side of the world (literally!) makes you appreciate and treasure the existence of the Internet. You get to chat with your friends and family, see them on webcams, and you get the news right on time! Even earlier than people back home.
So I just read the news at PDI awhile ago. I always go straight to the Editorial and Opinions section as they appeal to me more than what is in front of the paper. Whatever big news is on the frontpage, I know I will be updated about it in the E&O especially if it warrants enough attention to our consciousness.
Politics has always been a very interesting topic. Politics in the Philippines is even more reviting and fascinating - not with its beauty but with its downright dirtiness. The election just concluded and after 18 days, official counting for the presidential and vice presidential positions still hasn't started. COMELEC canvassing, which I thought was the official one, is also not done yet. As the days went by, counting has become slower and slower and slower. And between the two leading candidates, I really don't care who wins anymore. One is corrupt while the other is an ignorant dumbass with trapos on his back. Since the contest has been between Best Actress Gory Gloria and His Royal Highness King FPJ, I am relegated to think which of the two evils should we succumb to. To one that has proven to be corrupt and power hungry but is masked by her so-called intelligence, or to the high school dropout with untested skills and surrounded by erap/marcos crew? No choice. No contest. Hopeless. It really doesn't matter anymore. Whoever wins, the country is in dire misery.
Do I still care who wins the presidency?
Patricia Evangelista
I really love her piece so I am posting a link of her speech here.
Blondes and Blue Eyes
by Patricia Evangelista
a13 results
and the new american idol is - fantasia barrino!
OMG! i really had goosebumps and was crying with fantasia as she was singing her funeral song.. errr, i mean her first single. with her wearing black and crying, i thought it was a funeral. hehe.. well, she very well deserved the title. she's a great singer, performer and entertainer. enough of ai.
while on commercials breaks, i got to peek at the bachelor with jesse and jessica and tara and trish. wait. why is trish there? really, these people are making trish popular. trish says she is as true as how she was shown on the show. wow! she's a true whore then! she may think she's smart but i think she's stupid. stupid for thinking she's smart. yada yada. why am i wasting my time talking about her? anyway, i didn't get to see the part where tara was interviewed with jesse so i don't really know what "inappropriate" things were said and done that she got upset with. hmmm. we all are wondering and guessing she had sex with jesse but i think we're wrong with that. i think they just had oral sex - which is not really sex according to bill clinton. lol!
survivor is done. american idol is done. the bachelor is done. er, the oc. summer is going to be tv boring. but it's summer! supposed to be out. i guess i'll have to wait and see what shows are gonna interest me in the coming months. i sure am waiting for the amazing race.
so much for reality tv shows.
ai3 mania
Last week, I had already scheduled dinner with a friend for today as it is my day off. Of all nights, I have forgotten that tonight is going to be American Idol grand finale night. Darn! Super luckily for me, dinner was quick! Yohoooo!! Btw, food was okay. We ate in a resto called Blue Cactus at the byward market. Had voodoo chicken (grilled chicken breast), seafood chimichangga and calamari. Like I said, it was okay but not really great. Made me miss Mooon Cafe in Cebu City with their yummy chimichangga and sisig. Mmmm. Tulo akong laway dah. Hehe.
Now AI is starting. Be back later. I am wishing Diana will win but I am predicting Fantasia will win. :)
Lovers for a Lifetime
The piece below is a letter I made 2 years ago for my boyfriend at that time. He never got to read this as I never got to send it. It's very personal but I thought I'd just post it. I just hope I won't meet any of you personally as I would die of embarrassment.
Much has been said by my side to hurt you and your family. Before, I just pray hard that you would have enough love for me, and tons of patience for you to tolerate them. I didn't know how it feels then. I know how painful words can be, but I didn't know just how much.
But of course now I know. Just a little negative word from your family letting me know that they don't like me hurts. Even just the idea hurts. So I know how you feel. I understand.
I am hurt and disappointed by what they have said or done to hurt you. But I am even more hurt and disappointed by how you are handling the issue. By not sharing the problem with me, I feel that you don't really look at me as your partner. You love me, I know that. I love you, you know that. But loving is not enough anymore. With all the people wanting a part of us always - patience, the strength to fight, trust, and most especially faith in our love is very much needed for us to last longer.
Ever since I can remember, from the start of our relationship, we have been fighting situations and other people in order for us to stay together. It would have been better if we were fighting each other cause they always get happy and funny endings. But fighting others who want us apart have its advantage. It has kept us strong, and stronger still for the next fight. It has given us the fire to keep our love burning from just a match to a bonfire. Yes, they have been strengthed our ties, yet they have also drained us. Or is it just me?
For a long time now, you have been the most influential person in my life. You might not know that but I have become what I am, I am where I am, not because of my ambition, not because of someone's prodding, but because of you. Knowing that I can't live with you in the proximity of my family, I came here, hoping that we could one day live here together. Yes the money is good. But you of all people know that I am not a money person. Enough to fill my stomach is alright. And a few wants. And perhaps a few luxuries. :) Really, I don't believe we'll famish if we only work - any kind of work.
Long distance. Nine years. People are always amazed by that. I am too. But we both know the sacrifices and the compromises we made to last this long. Not once have we made to celebrate our anniversary together. I was with you on my birthday one year, but not on the next year.
Soulmates. No we're not soulmates. Those words are for persons who are cowards to love each other and risk losing each other lest their love fade. We're not afraid of that. Why would we when we know ours won't fade? Sometimes, I marvel at our commitment. We've had so many arguments and yet not once have we looked at a break-up as an option. Yes I have initiated a break-up once, but not because we had an argument, nor because I don't love you. You just hurt me so much at what you told me that you did. But we didn't get to break, did we? Like I said, breaking-up is not an option. We were not two persons in two bodies, we were two persons in one.
We have grown so much from this relationhip that I don't know how to live by myself anymore. I live because you live. I live because I am waiting for the time that we would be together again, and forever at that. I live because I want to be in the time when I wake up and see your face first every morning, every day. I live because I love you.
I don't want to lose you. Yet I don't want you hurt anymore. I don't want those who want us apart to win this fight. Yet I don't want to win this with you battered emotionally. I still want to fight, but not forever - and not with you growing to hate my family. I'm afraid you might hate me with them.
I'm sorry for all that they've said or done to hurt you and your family. I am ashamed of what they have done. It's a pity that we can't get to choose our relatives. I would have chosen yours. But then again, we would siblings, and I don't want you as one.
I could set you free. Then you'd be free of me, and I of you. Then my family won't have any reason of speaking ill of you and your family. Would they really? I don't think so.
Even if we have finally broken up, they still would continue to talk. I know that. They're my family, right? So I know them. So even if we're not together anymore, they would still talk. They would still hurt you. I know you would cause I know that you will always love me, just as I will always love you. Then breaking up with you, or setting you free would be useless.
So breaking-up is not an option.
I guess you just have to bear with my relatives then. But please bear them with me. Then we could have the luxury of damning them together.
beginnings again
-- for you --
it is a night when slumber is sought
crowding pictures of you in ghastly films of thought
uneasy, in truth, that may be
for no doubt, it is you that speaks to me
your voice rings midnight's silence in my ear
dispelling gloom and sweaty afterthoughts of fear
and yet to come great waves of pensive loneliness
that swiftly shatter into haunting fragments of distress
but there,a laugh lurks boldly in my mind
quelling pangs of pain that surge from behind
such lame beginnings that sorely bother me
it is love that's simply wanting to be free
mee mee mee :)
let me introduce myself. i'm amee (yes with a double e and yes i know my name's unique - thank you. hehe) and people call me amee, ams, mee, girlie, ging, ga, toots, dot, bardot. i was born in the province of surigao del sur, philippines and studied and lived there till high school at ls-jbs. took up bs in computer engineering in cebu city at usc and worked right after graduation in a cebu-based japanese company. went to-fro japan for 4 years. migrated to canada to search for some professional growth. professional growth my ass! i am damned in this country!! been here almost 3 years and i still haven't got a job that makes use of my brain the way the japanese had used and abused it. so much for complaining of brain drain in my last job, now my brain is empty and dead and boring and is yearning for some new discoveries. *sigh*
a lot of my friends call me bardot. i thought i would lose that as i came here in canada but somehow someday, people knew and just started calling me that name again. i started to have that name way back in college (or university as they call it here) when i became an amateur radio user. bardot was my callsign. i was in third year college and it was my most enjoyable year in college. i had a blast!! so much so that i flunked one of my subjects and barely passed in all the others. i'll write about that life one day here. so anyway, bardot is really a shitty name in my dialect so i just won't tell you it's meaning. i'm 28 years young and still single and available but not really looking. i just broke up with my boyfriend and i am really tired of guys right now. really, aside from getting laid, what more can you get from them? hehe sounds like a scorned woman? don't get me wrong. i'm just taking a break. i have a feeling in 2 weeks i won't be available anymore. in 4 months i won't be single anymore. i can see it in my stars. i can feel it. zzz...zzzzz.... dream on..
so now i'm here in canada and because of boredom, i am having this online journal. at least i get to use my brain other than the usual daydreaming.
back to me, i am currently working in tech support helping american dummies with their internet connection. until i worked here, i didn't know that there were so much dumb americans. hehe..
and oh btw, i had a daughter i delivered at 24 weeks and died 43 days later because of extreme prematurity. grieved and grieved. i'm okay now. i believe some things happen for a greater reason. i believe in destiny yet i also believe we control our fate to whatever destiny we have. and to have this fate may be hard but i know my destiny is a good one. call me optimistic but it's better to hope for a good ending rather than dwell on the bad memories.
oh and btw, i also suffer from lupus. i'm also fine. for now.
hate and love comments anyone? you're welcome.
welcome!
how u doin?
okay okay.. i am a sucker for friends. i love joey and i will never get tired of hearing his line. but i'm not going to talk about joey right now. he's a guy that makes me smile but he's not *the* guy that really makes me smile and melt. owwww.. now i'm getting mushy. eeewww! i love talking about boys and love and such but they also make me feel corny.
okay i'm blabbing again.. i'll talk about him later.. he deserves his own space and title. well, most of my posts are going to be about him coz all my thoughts are all pretty much about him. i don't really breathe him but i do think of him a lot. and i mean - A LOT! let's leave him be for now.
anyhoo, this site is going to be full of crap. bardot crap! my life story is pretty much full of crap - crap but interesting. this is going to be like an online journal of things and topics that interest me that makes me want to say something -- some things about my life, some ideas and opinions about life, the world, politics, people, whatever i can think of. this is my place to unload my mind. my heading really says it like it means. with hands open wide, let me welcome you to bardot unleashed.
'bout time.
version 1.0
At last! I made it. Errr - rather, I have actually made the time to register this blog site. For years now, I have always been thinking of making a site like this. I just didn't have the time to sit down for hours and hours just to create the page and do the design and such and then write things that might interest other people as much as it interests me. Thank God for people who don't have anything to do but create this wonderful site. *wink-wink* Now, all we have to do is select this and this and just write whatever we want to write.
I know I'm just blabbering. It's past my bedtime and I'm real sleepy. I am just excited to post something that anything will do even if I really suck right now. Don't worry, the coming days are going to be better. I'll get my writer groove back. OMFG! The last time I have actually written a very good piece was way way back in high school. I did some very good write-ups when I was in college but they weren't that great - that is, according to my standards. Now this really sucks! I might deny I ever wrote this one day.
What the heck am I thinking? Why should I care what other people think about what I'm talking/writing about. I'm not doing this for them or for anybody. I'm suppose to be doing this because I like to, because I want to. Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever.
So I really have to sleep now. I have a lot of things to discuss tomorrow. Promise. More about me as I haven't really introduced myself yet. As if somebody would be interested to know?!?! Now I'm talking to myself. :)
Gotta go.. gotta go.. Gudnight peeps!
I am writing this blog not to please you.
If you're in any way offended by my views and opinions
about life, love, men, women, children, the world, religion
- and anything I write about, I am not sorry.
I repeat, I am not sorry.
These are my views
and this is my blog
and I have the right to post them as I like.
I do not answer to you nor to anybody else.
If anything is copied for distribution,
please give attribution to me, the author,
or I'll hunt you wherever you are
to pluck all your nose hairs
or p#$$y hairs
whichever is convenient.
in short and simple words:
don't copy!
idiot.
